WHAT IS MARRIAGE 911 COUPLES COACHING?
Marriages or long-term relationships can test your boundaries, your belief systems, and even make you question your identity. The core of these relationships are so inter-connected that they can trigger old subliminal messages received from prior relationships or even childhood. Any successful relationship requires a system in place in order to function adequately. Changing how you interact with your partner automatically changes how your partner interacts with you. We teach our clients two very important techniques "perception reframing" and "behavior modification".
Many couples have already tried traditional therapy and, although this can be a very useful tool, it often does not "fix" their problems. It may improve their communication styles, but it does not RE-PROGRAM their old perceptions and mis-perceptions that block the path to change which is necessary to create new improved relationships. The basic issues of perception and understanding must evolve first. This is what we strive for in our couples coaching intensive. First, we observe how couples interact with each other in real time -- not just a 45 minute session once a week -- but over a 2-day period (usually over a weekend). Then, we find out what each partner requires to hear, or needs to feel, and we assist them in re-designing their expectations and perceptions. This concept of re-programming and clearing up couples mis-perceptions of each other can shift their views about the relationship from negative to positive.
In a marital relationship many couples find they are having disputes over the loss of personal control. In a marriage your spouse is the closest person in your reality so this person becomes the target. The need or desire for control is really fear-based. We have many behaviors and expectations that either consciously or subconsciously play out in our relationships daily. With our coaching and customized life scripts we can help re-program and re-align this level of thinking. Old patterns need to become clear so we can actively pursue new approaches.
In the beginning of a relationship a balance exists. Both partners enjoy spending time together and feeling connected. Then, over time, the realities of life hit. Now, this balance is shaken and restructured by new outside forces such as financial issues, children, new responsibilities, job pressures, stress, family obligations, etc. This results in a disconnection on some emotional level between both partners. What we are not aware of is that we don't decide to become out of balance. With coaching, our couples make a decision to change their old relationship dynamic by developing new thought processes allowing relationship growth to occur. The coaching and life scripts help to realign this barrier. We will discuss new ways to recreate the balance in your marriage. This is the key: Your thoughts will actually re-program your new actions. It's that simple. Be careful what you choose to think about consistently. Ask yourself do these thoughts serve the team we have created? Remember only you are in control of what you choose to believe. It's up to you to be willing to try to shift and realign your thoughts to reach your relationship goals. A successful marriage is based on sharing and cooperating for the good of the marital team. For some of us this is a novel concept to absorb. WOW, it's not just about me, it's about us, we, our relationship TEAM. What you desire you manifest in your life.
Our goal is to help couples shift the balance of their relationship and refocus their intentions. Can you name three things you can shift that would create more balance (remember be specific with your intentions) such as, "I would like to have time each day for small talk at night with my partner". Remember, it takes time. You didn't get out of balance overnight.
Couples need to create new perceptions to become intentionally aware that their thoughts create a successful marriage. Communications can get clouded by mis-understanding when we don't facilitate this process honestly and openly. In a reentry study it as estimated that the average couple only spends 3-4 minutes a day talking to each other about their relationship (this means not just problems but small talk). Marriages cannot grow and flourish on just 4 minutes a day!
When couples create a team approach in their relationship they feel accountable to the team. They can begin to show behaviors that nurture and support their partner. The couples begins to feel that they are "in this together" and not alone.
We help our couples shift their focus from trying to "improve their partner" to working hard on "self-improvement" for the betterment of the marital team.
Evolution is a leap of growth and change. We help our couples expand their relationship potential so they can reach a new place fully equipped to thrive. Any crisis or challenge in their relationship can be viewed as an opportunity for growth.
TESTIMONIALS:
"Outstanding workshop for reconnecting" John and Ann E. Southbury, Ct.
"Opportunity for growth and change in our marriage" Sal and Chris C. Newtown, Ct.
"Innovative approach to conflict resolution in our relationship" Joseph and Mary Z. Pawling, NY
